Anxious About Ministry

Ugh, I'm so tired.

Wednesday nights are a killer for me, and this wednesday especially.
There have been so many things to do lately. For one, trying to catch up on things from being gone for a week, combined with doing the usual routine and schedule. In addition to this, were getting ready to leave again for a family reunion at the end of August!

Of course dh is away right now. We had church this evening. I arrived tired, and I left even more tired. One of my little ones was hyped up from Pee Wee Club and playing with friends, my other baby was crabby.
When we got home, I was dragging to get them in clean diapers, PJ's and off to bed. Then dh came home for a minuet and then left again in the middle of them getting ready for bed. He had to drive the tractor somewhere...I thought that was strange it getting dark out, but I was too tired to say much about it.

It's one of those nights when I feel like I'm spinning my wheels and not really getting anywhere. I'm teaching Patch the Pirate and the numbers are so up and down. The kids act so spoiled sometimes and it gets very discouraging. Sometimes I think it would be better if I just didn't care about it that much, then it wouldn't be such a big deal.

I'm also starting up a Mom's Group and next week is our first meeting. The planning has seemed to go well so far. I guess I'm a little discouraged because one of the moms who I was hoping would be involved told me tonight that for now, she wont be able to. She was the one who's not really a part of the church yet, and who has a lot of friends in the community (she grew up here). So, I was kind of hoping she would want to come.
I don't know, I find myself feeling like I have to "sell" certain ministries sometimes, and I don't like it. I feel like I have to have to have a "three ringed circus" for some people, and thats still not enough to get them to come.
I just remember when God grabbed a hold of my heart, people didn't have to try to "sell" church or Jesus to me, I just wanted to be there because thats where I could learn more about Him.

I think I'm just feeling a little anxious about this Mom's Group. I think I'm afraid it will fail. I also feel very insecure about my ability to lead this group the right way. I'm not really leading, just more facilitating, but even that scares me. I don't want to come across wrong, either too dominating or too passive.

I guess I just have to wait on His perfect timing, and to trust that whoever He wants there, He will bring and whatever He wants to happen will happen...