Friday, June 8, 2007

Anxiety

All day today, I was feeling insecure and anxious about having company over tonight. Sometimes, I get so much anxiety about situations that I get really overwhelmed, and I can't shake it! It's not like we don't have people over much either, I mean we have an open door policy, and a lot of people come and go from our home.
Anxiety's not always a problem for me, it seems to sort of pop up at random. Sometimes, I will have anxiety over the littlest things, like while I'm waiting in line at the bank. All of the sudden, I feel like I'm either in danger or I become really afraid that I will do something wrong like forget my pin number, license, etc., or I just feel like everyone is staring and disapproving of me.
I come from a family history of people who "clinically" suffer from anxiety attacks and depression. Some people in my family are on medication for their mental problems, some are only when they feel they need them, and some don't take any medication.
I have never been on medication for anxiety attacks or depression, although I battle off and on with each. There have been times when I've said to myself, "okay, if this gets any worse, I'm going to see a doctor for some help," but it's never gotten to that point. I think some people truly need medication for these things, but of course there's always the folks who abuse it too.
For me the biggest help is to talk about it. Of course, I have to be totally honest with God about what's going on because he knows already anyways. Lately, when the anxiety bubbles up, I try to take a deep breath, and then if my husband is around, I tell him exactly what's causing my anguish. Usually, when I say it out loud, it sounds so silly that I can actually laugh at myself for being so ridiculous.
Of course tonight, after our company arrived, everything went great. I had nothing to be anxious, or stressed about. If only I had known things were going to go so well, I would have had a much better day.
I don't think I've seen the last of my anxiety, but I do think that the Lord helps me through each "attack." It's already gotten easier for me to deal with by just talking about it. Someday, I pray that it goes away completely. I really would rather spend my time and energy on other things!

3 comments:

Julo said...

I have the exact same problem. Mine often manifests itself as hypochondria. I worry I have all these terrible diseases and will leave my children motherless. Maybe we should pray for each other about this! I've felt convicted that I'm not trusting in our sovereign, good God like He wants me to. I hope you're doing better today. blessings to you

Help meet said...

Your in my prayers. Please pray for me too!

Allison McMillan said...

Julie shared with me your struggle with anxiety after reading one of my blog posts where I talk about my own struggle and God's work in my life over this issue. I am praying for you, help meet, that he will work in your life as well as Julie's and my own! Thanks for being transparent about anxiety. I think it's one of those issues we are prone to sweep under the rug, but would be surprised to find how common it is-especially in pastor's wives!