After to me what seemed like a chaotic evening at church, I am really trying to let go of the control I think I have. I know that when I come home as tired and without joy as I am right now, that it's mainly because I try to take the reigns of things. I want to be able to lead my ministries by just being available and being there. I tend to have all of these unrealistic expectations and expect things of myself and others that God doesn't. My fight with God is for control, only there's no real fight because He's obviously the one in charge, not me.
I just long to just be there, and not to stress so much for it makes me so tired and I loose all the blessings.
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Reading on the Potty
Today my little one was on the potty, pretend reading the book, A Birthday Cake for Little Bear, to his little sister. She was sitting up tall and quite still, seeming to be very interested in what her brother had to say.
It reminded me of when I was little, and I used to, "pretend read," books to my cousins. They loved it and always asked me to "read" to them. I can't say I ever did it while going potty however. I think it brings new meaning to multi-tasking (smile).
It reminded me of when I was little, and I used to, "pretend read," books to my cousins. They loved it and always asked me to "read" to them. I can't say I ever did it while going potty however. I think it brings new meaning to multi-tasking (smile).
"Come On, Everybody Else is Doing it."
What is it about people who are drinking alcohol, when they insist that everyone have a drink, even if not everyone wants one?
Yesterday, we went to a family BBQ for Memorial Day. The kids had a great time spending time with cousins, aunts, uncles, Grandma and Grandpa. The food was delicious; there was a little bit of everything it seemed (sort of like potluck style.)
The only thing was, it was like being in high school all over again when it came to not wanting a drink. Can I just say that this is a continuing, "issue," with family for me. I’m not really sure why, since alcohol is not a big deal to me, and I really don't care if people choose to drink. But, I can't say the same for those there who were drinking. It’s not the first time that this has happened, but it becomes such a big deal to some people who do drink for me to drink too.
This time it was even more ridiculous, when nobody even asked me if I wanted anything, and my sister-in-law and mother-in-law fixed one up for me in the kitchen and brought it to me without even asking. I didn't say anything out loud, but I did feel like they were making an awful big deal out of something that didn't need to be. So, I asked God to help me in this uncomfortable situation. Then something really funny happened, my little darling daughter pulled the tablecloth off the table, and "whoops," there went my drink. Nothing was really said, since they noticed that I hadn't drank any of it anyways, and it was just sitting there.
A bit later my sister-in-law asked me, "Why don't you drink?" My mother-in-law chimed in, "well, she used to, you should have seen her when we were at...(and on it went.)" And she was right, I did used to drink, but I don't want to anymore. I can relax and have a good time without it. I like the taste of wine, and my husband and I will have a glass of wine if it's just the two of us.
So I said, "You know, I don't have a problem with somebody drinking. The problem for us is when it comes to leadership, and trying to counsel families who falling apart because of problems with alcohol." I said, "I know its just family, but we live in a small community, and rumors get started, and on it goes." She actually seemed to understand this explanation pretty well. Maybe it's because although she didn't say, her husband is an alcoholic. He's almost lost his job and his family over it. That’s why I thought it was especially crazy that she was trying so hard to get me to have a drink when I didn't even want one.
Anyways, God worked it out, and I was ready to go home when it was time. This morning, thinking about everything, I still think the whole thing was pretty silly...like a scene right out of high school. It's interesting to me how people feel so uncomfortable drinking when other people aren't. That they try everything they can to get you to drink like them (especially the Pastor's wife.) Wouldn't it have made them feel so much better, if they could have gone to town the next day and told all their friends that the Pastor's wife was drinking!
I'm sitting here laughing, laughing because of how ridiculous it is, and how immature adults can be!
Yesterday, we went to a family BBQ for Memorial Day. The kids had a great time spending time with cousins, aunts, uncles, Grandma and Grandpa. The food was delicious; there was a little bit of everything it seemed (sort of like potluck style.)
The only thing was, it was like being in high school all over again when it came to not wanting a drink. Can I just say that this is a continuing, "issue," with family for me. I’m not really sure why, since alcohol is not a big deal to me, and I really don't care if people choose to drink. But, I can't say the same for those there who were drinking. It’s not the first time that this has happened, but it becomes such a big deal to some people who do drink for me to drink too.
This time it was even more ridiculous, when nobody even asked me if I wanted anything, and my sister-in-law and mother-in-law fixed one up for me in the kitchen and brought it to me without even asking. I didn't say anything out loud, but I did feel like they were making an awful big deal out of something that didn't need to be. So, I asked God to help me in this uncomfortable situation. Then something really funny happened, my little darling daughter pulled the tablecloth off the table, and "whoops," there went my drink. Nothing was really said, since they noticed that I hadn't drank any of it anyways, and it was just sitting there.
A bit later my sister-in-law asked me, "Why don't you drink?" My mother-in-law chimed in, "well, she used to, you should have seen her when we were at...(and on it went.)" And she was right, I did used to drink, but I don't want to anymore. I can relax and have a good time without it. I like the taste of wine, and my husband and I will have a glass of wine if it's just the two of us.
So I said, "You know, I don't have a problem with somebody drinking. The problem for us is when it comes to leadership, and trying to counsel families who falling apart because of problems with alcohol." I said, "I know its just family, but we live in a small community, and rumors get started, and on it goes." She actually seemed to understand this explanation pretty well. Maybe it's because although she didn't say, her husband is an alcoholic. He's almost lost his job and his family over it. That’s why I thought it was especially crazy that she was trying so hard to get me to have a drink when I didn't even want one.
Anyways, God worked it out, and I was ready to go home when it was time. This morning, thinking about everything, I still think the whole thing was pretty silly...like a scene right out of high school. It's interesting to me how people feel so uncomfortable drinking when other people aren't. That they try everything they can to get you to drink like them (especially the Pastor's wife.) Wouldn't it have made them feel so much better, if they could have gone to town the next day and told all their friends that the Pastor's wife was drinking!
I'm sitting here laughing, laughing because of how ridiculous it is, and how immature adults can be!
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Good Quote
My husband brought me home a knick-knack from the gift shop. It's a little orange colored, construction looking cone, and it says...
"All mothers are working mothers."
I think it's great, and I have it on display in my kitchen now!
"All mothers are working mothers."
I think it's great, and I have it on display in my kitchen now!
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Daycare
I was just doing some reading on daycares recently. One of the reasons being that I am constantly faced with people questioning the job legitimacy of being a SAHM. My childhood was unique in that I spent time away from my mom in a combination of ways.
I was partly raised by one of my aunts with my other cousins. I have vivid memories of those days, and the only time I remember my aunts presence was when she would holler and yell at her boys when they were getting into trouble. In the morning before school, I'd spend about an hour alone, before anyone else got up, watching anything I wanted on TV. After school, we'd make prank phone calls, wreak havoc on the neighborhood, get into verbal fights with other kids, and spend time at other latch key kid's houses. There was usually no adult supervision, so we did whatever we wanted.
I was also partly raised in a couple actual daycares. This was even worse than being left with my aunt and cousins. I never got used to the ache, that no matter how many years I spent in daycare, never left my heart. It was an ache that desired and yearned so badly for my mom. Here I was left in the midst of aggressive, unruly kids (who had become this way from spending most or all of their lives in daycare), cold adults who didn't care that much about me, and certainly didn't love me, cheap as possible, unhealthy meals (so they could save as much money as possible), and a 15 child to 1 adult ratio.
I actually find it humorous (and sad) when I read the names of some of these daycares. "Little Blessings," "Grandma's Arms." Or the ones with an "educational emphasis." like the name, "Bright Horizons" or "Knowledge Learning Corporation." (any child can parrot their ABC's).
I can hardly imagine leaving my six week old baby in a daycare. Basically, it would be like leaving your baby with strangers. Not to mention these strangers are getting paid peanuts (did I mention the high turn over rate). And no, it's not one on one care either, try more like four babies to one adult. Then as babies become toddlers they get shuffled into groups with kids much older than themselves. The daycare worker doesn't have quality time to give to any one child, and toddlers basically end up getting raised by other kids! What kind of generation is being created!
Daycare is just not the best option for children. If it's a temporary, emergency type situation, then okay do what you have to do, but unfortunately for most kids this isn't the case. How can a mom spend nine months preparing to have, "the perfect baby," only to put her newborn into an institution! Really it's all about dollars. Dollars are more important than children in our world today. Women will spend all day away from their children at a job, only to give most of their paycheck to someone else to raise their children.
I am a SAHM because I am a product of daycare and I know it's absolutely not the best thing for children. No matter what, no one can give a child the love and care so desperately needed like his mother.
I was partly raised by one of my aunts with my other cousins. I have vivid memories of those days, and the only time I remember my aunts presence was when she would holler and yell at her boys when they were getting into trouble. In the morning before school, I'd spend about an hour alone, before anyone else got up, watching anything I wanted on TV. After school, we'd make prank phone calls, wreak havoc on the neighborhood, get into verbal fights with other kids, and spend time at other latch key kid's houses. There was usually no adult supervision, so we did whatever we wanted.
I was also partly raised in a couple actual daycares. This was even worse than being left with my aunt and cousins. I never got used to the ache, that no matter how many years I spent in daycare, never left my heart. It was an ache that desired and yearned so badly for my mom. Here I was left in the midst of aggressive, unruly kids (who had become this way from spending most or all of their lives in daycare), cold adults who didn't care that much about me, and certainly didn't love me, cheap as possible, unhealthy meals (so they could save as much money as possible), and a 15 child to 1 adult ratio.
I actually find it humorous (and sad) when I read the names of some of these daycares. "Little Blessings," "Grandma's Arms." Or the ones with an "educational emphasis." like the name, "Bright Horizons" or "Knowledge Learning Corporation." (any child can parrot their ABC's).
I can hardly imagine leaving my six week old baby in a daycare. Basically, it would be like leaving your baby with strangers. Not to mention these strangers are getting paid peanuts (did I mention the high turn over rate). And no, it's not one on one care either, try more like four babies to one adult. Then as babies become toddlers they get shuffled into groups with kids much older than themselves. The daycare worker doesn't have quality time to give to any one child, and toddlers basically end up getting raised by other kids! What kind of generation is being created!
Daycare is just not the best option for children. If it's a temporary, emergency type situation, then okay do what you have to do, but unfortunately for most kids this isn't the case. How can a mom spend nine months preparing to have, "the perfect baby," only to put her newborn into an institution! Really it's all about dollars. Dollars are more important than children in our world today. Women will spend all day away from their children at a job, only to give most of their paycheck to someone else to raise their children.
I am a SAHM because I am a product of daycare and I know it's absolutely not the best thing for children. No matter what, no one can give a child the love and care so desperately needed like his mother.
Homeschooling vs. Public School?
My husband and I are at a stage right now in our parenting where we are trying to decide what would be better for our family, public school or homeschool. Now we know we have time, our oldest is only a toddler. We are praying about what God would have us to do. I am also doing a lot of online reading on the subject.
I am such a novice on the subject, my husband, myself, and basically everyone we know was raised in public school. An example of where I'm at exactly is, I spent about an hour last night reading about the Charlotte Mason method. I am learning that there are so many different kinds of homeschool (I had no idea!). So, I would like to see if anyone out there has any web sights, etc. that might be helpful on the subject?
I am such a novice on the subject, my husband, myself, and basically everyone we know was raised in public school. An example of where I'm at exactly is, I spent about an hour last night reading about the Charlotte Mason method. I am learning that there are so many different kinds of homeschool (I had no idea!). So, I would like to see if anyone out there has any web sights, etc. that might be helpful on the subject?
Nursery Miracle!
I made a Nursery Ministry sign up sheet to get some much needed help in our Nursery. (See previous "Nursery Blues" post). To give an idea, we have Nursery available, Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday evening, and every other Thursday afternoon. During each of these we have had one worker, and that would be this Pastor's wife.
I've heard that the Pastor's wife is the most unchurched person in the church. This certainly has been true in my case. It had been almost two years since I had attended a service and I could feel burnout coming. I wasn't sure how much longer I could endure.
So I did the only thing I could, and asked for help! So simple, so easy, so obvious...unfortunately, not for this CONTROL FREAK! When I got the sign up sheet back and I saw it filled up with signatures, I was thrilled and I was rebuked. Thrilled because we got enough signatures for a monthly rotation, plus one helper and one substitute! Do you know what else, my name isn't even on the rotation!
I was rebuked because I wonder how God can have so much patience with this child of His? All of my whining, crying and, "poor me," attitude. All of the blessings I missed out on because I thought I was in control. My hope lost, my vision cut off, because it became all about me. But my Lord is gracious to me, even when I forget about His plan and follow mine instead. So, go ahead and call me a, "control freak," please, I've certainly earned it!
I've heard that the Pastor's wife is the most unchurched person in the church. This certainly has been true in my case. It had been almost two years since I had attended a service and I could feel burnout coming. I wasn't sure how much longer I could endure.
So I did the only thing I could, and asked for help! So simple, so easy, so obvious...unfortunately, not for this CONTROL FREAK! When I got the sign up sheet back and I saw it filled up with signatures, I was thrilled and I was rebuked. Thrilled because we got enough signatures for a monthly rotation, plus one helper and one substitute! Do you know what else, my name isn't even on the rotation!
I was rebuked because I wonder how God can have so much patience with this child of His? All of my whining, crying and, "poor me," attitude. All of the blessings I missed out on because I thought I was in control. My hope lost, my vision cut off, because it became all about me. But my Lord is gracious to me, even when I forget about His plan and follow mine instead. So, go ahead and call me a, "control freak," please, I've certainly earned it!
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