Waiting on My Love

It's Saturday night. I'm up late, waiting for Pastor husband to return home, while he's away with the duties of the ministry (any Pastor's wife knows what I'm talking about). I came across Jeff Barker's play called "One Pastor's Wife's Saturday." http://www.nwciowa.edu/barkerplays You need to scroll down towards the bottom of his webpage. Warning! It will probably make you cry.

Is it a Ministry When...

It's one of those times when I don't know why things happen the way they do. I can't see the full picture, and whatever God is doing is a mystery. I am without an explanation or an answer.
We had a special Ladies Luncheon this afternoon. I am the Nursery worker during our Ladies Group meetings. Today was no exception. I had been told by some other mom's, that they would be attending the Luncheon, and that they would be bringing their children to the nursery. So I was ready. Because the meeting was right in the middle of nap time, the kids took an early nap so that they wouldn't be cranky. I packed a lunch for them to eat away from home. I prepared the Nursery with snacks and supplies, and plans for fun.
But, no one came. We waited for a while, and after about 20 minutes, I was pretty sure that Nursery was just going to be me and my kids...and it was. For two hours, my kids had snacks and played alone.
This thought, that I know is not from God, kept creeping into my mind, "why are we even here? It would be so much easier if we were doing all this at home right now." I know the Lord wants me to be faithful, and a good example to my children. He never did say that it would be easy all the time. But, I came and went from Nursery today without really connecting to anyone else, having no fellowship, and I wasn't even able to be of service to anyone. I left church feeling like my time and my energy were a waste. Usually, I leave Nursery tired, but a good tired. I know that my ministry is valuable, and that it allows other moms to be fed spiritually. It's a good feeling, knowing that what I'm doing makes a difference.
On days like today however, I just don't get much satisfaction at all.

The Nursery Blues

I feel so overwhelmed. Teaching a children’s class at church, seems like it should be just that, but it’s not. Each week, I prepare my lesson and spend time praying for those in my class, and on Wednesday evenings I teach.
I laugh to myself as I think about the first class when I had my fussy baby on my hip and my toddler running around my feet as I tried to “teach” class. It was more like the kids in class watched me running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I tried to juggle both, but it was apparent that it wasn’t working very well. It was a transitional moment.
Before this, I had been the Nursery worker. Then God directed me to teaching a children’s class. It’s been providing other Nursery workers to take my place that has been so difficult. We managed to get three ladies to volunteer, and they were on a rotation. This lasted about a month, when because of one thing or another, we ended up with only one worker left. This person isn’t prepared to work in the Nursery every week, as she is still very young in the Lord, and needs a lot of care and attention.
So, it’s a fragile and exhausting situation, which resulted in me having to cancel today’s class. Which meant calling everyone in the class and explaining in a diplomatic way why were not having it. This is so hard for me to do when I am so burdened, I just wanted to say so much more. I kept hoping, during my phone conversations, that someone would volunteer to help, unfortunately, none did.
At this point, I am wondering what to do. I just don’t know where it all went wrong? I thought God wanted me to teach a children’s class. I’ve ended up however feeling quite overwhelmed at trying to organize a Nursery ministry and teach a children’s class. All it seems to have resulted in at this point is me providing a sort of daycare for infants through 8th grade on Wednesday nights. Whew!

"Mom; Do You Know My Jesus?"

I was raised in a “no nonsense” kind of home. My sweet mother was nothing but hard working and practical! (I just love her for teaching me those things). Anyways, we live in different states, and she is coming for a visit. We can’t wait to see her!
Where my heart aches, and where I’ve spent many hours in prayer, is that my mom doesn’t have a personal relationship with Christ. She was raised a devout Catholic. During my childhood, I only remember going to Catholic Mass a couple of times. Apparently, I was baptized by my grandma in the bathtub (I’m not sure what that was all about?) I remember being taught to pray by reciting, “Our Father,” and “Hail Mary prayers.” Sadly though, by the time I graduated high school, I knew nothing about a personal Jesus or the Bible.
I know none of my prayers for my mom have been void. Infact, the Lord has allowed so much to take place. I mean, my mom has seen a complete transformation in my life, she’s seen God continually provide for our family, she’s seen contentment and peace in our hearts when they’re shouldn’t have been, and we have had profitable conversations about the Lord.
I confess to the Lord that I have such little faith. Doubt creeps in, and I really just don’t know if she will ever know Jesus like I do. But then maybe she will, and with the hope that provides, it then it becomes about waiting on His timing (I confess, I’m not so good at waiting either).